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mormonism

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I've been aware of the QAnon movement probably only slightly more than the average American for the past couple of years. I have individuals close to me who may not identify with the movement or even know about the anonymous individual “Q” but are definitely influenced by and believe many, if not all, the conspiracy theories rooted in the movement. With the attacks on the Capitol building this past Wednesday, it became apparent which of those individuals believe the 2020 election was rigged and fradualent (it wasn't).

While not surprised, their support has caused me to revisit my relationship with them. That endeavor led me to the subreddit r/QAnonCasualties. The forum description speaks for itself:

Do you have a loved one who's been taken in by the QAnon conspiracy fantasy? Look here for emotional support and a place to vent.

As I read through the stories of people recounting an emotional — and sometimes traumatic — experience of their relationships ending due to the differences of opinion, I was struck at how similar they sounded to the stories that I would read on r/exmormon back when I initially started questioning — and eventually renouncing — my LDS beliefs. The tears, the heartache, the pain, and the destruction felt identical between the two populations.

To illustrate my point and show just how similar they are, I have taken several phrases from posts on r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, and r/exjw (a forum for those who have left the Jehovah's Witnesses), and redacted certain elements of them. I originally wanted to do this with whole posts, but that proved to be too difficult given all the context in posts. Let's see if you can tell which post is from which subreddit. No Googling!

  1. “Instead of facing it they decided to just stop talking to me.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  2. “Yesterday I literally just grabbed my stuff and left my parent's house, because I could not survive there anymore. It was like a black hole sucking away my motivation and personality. I was constantly either in a depressive, carefully controlled state of mind or bloodpressure spiking silent rage at the delusional [individuals] in my house.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  3. “How many of you are being shunned by family that follow you on social media? I have a family member that won’t speak to me, doesn’t watch my stories, reply to my messages but still follows me on social media. She texts my kid but won’t text me. It’s sad.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  4. “She burst into tears and said if this was what we would talk about she should just go. Our voices weren't raised. We were actually whispering because I was nursing my son, and he was asleep. We had a nice time before this. We made pudding. . .I know this is so mild compared to what some people deal with on here, but I feel like I'm losing the ability to talk to my mom.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  5. “Well... I tried to talk to him. I stayed calm. I explained my reasons. I showed him evidence of why I believe what I do. He told me he’s basically right because of feelings and that I’m going to be a horrible mother. . .”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  6. “As we have attempted to set boundaries, there have been multiple incidences where my parents have broken our boundaries. We've had many conversations and I've confronted them. We've been forgiving and have kept trying to make it work. Naturally, they were defensive and resistant to admit to breaking them. Sadly, things have gotten so bad we have had to cut my parents off completely from our lives. The relationship was too toxic. We have not had to cut off my siblings as they have respected our boundaries.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  7. “So I come home from work and my dad is [engaging in movement activities] like he does every night. All I did was point out [flaws in activities]. So my dad charges me and wants to fight and when I refuse he spits in my face.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  8. Trigger warning: suicide

    “My aunt who was ultra [believer in movement] shot herself earlier today, she left a note saying she was terrified [prediction or prophecy was going to happen] because [something else happened].”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  9. “It is odd how happy my husband and I are 99% of the time. Then he hits me with the snitching bitches report of what I have been posting and how dare I persecute witnesses. It's like what the hell? How do you go from madly in love to pissed off?”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  10. “He had a stroke a few days ago, was in the ICU. Wasn't allowed to visit due to covid-19. I found out from my wife because my mother can't even text me to say he's dying.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  11. “Wife thinks we should part ways because I don't believe any of this”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  12. “A couple days ago my sister sent a rambling group text to my whole family about how [a prediction or prophecy was going to come true] and for the love of everything please [watch or read this material] and be prepared. I told her in no uncertain terms that she was in a cult and needed help. The rest of my family ended up calling me closed-minded, aggressive, and mean, then told my sister that of course they’d [watch or read the material].”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  13. “The fact that I no longer believe in [belief] seems to have invalidated my opinions and ideas. . . with some family members, where before, I feel like my opinions mattered and I was trusted to be a reliable information source and siblings would turn to for advice. But... not believing in [belief] means my opinions, ideas, or even outright verifiable knowledge can no longer be trusted.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  14. Trigger warning: domestic violence

    “He wound up leaving the room and for the remainder of the night we stayed in separate rooms. As I was pumping so I could go to bed, he began screaming at me. I couldn’t tell you what he said because I entirely blocked him out. I finished pumping, locked myself in our bedroom and got into bed. He barged in, broke the door handle, started to shove me while I was in bed, anticipating I would fight back but I played possum. Fighting wasn’t worth the risk of losing my baby boy. He was screaming at me to get the F out and other mean things. I remained in possum mode.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

How'd you do? More importantly, how'd you feel while reading these stories?

Personally, my heart broke as I read through dozens stories in all three subreddits in search of the ones above. A lot of it was triggering for me and caused me to feel the same pain I felt when I lost all my friends upon leaving the LDS Church. It also helped prepare me to possibly experience it again soon on a smaller scale.

I hope it was eye-opening yet helpful to you. I hope it illustrates just with how much conviction people believe the QAnon conspiracy theories. They are throwing away the relationships that are dearest to them because of something they believe that is ultimately false.

You may find yourself in a similar situation. I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in navigating these situations, but what I do know from experience is that you have to do what is best for you. It is not worth your physical, mental, psychological, or spiritual safety to be in any sort of abusive relationship. If you feel that the relationship cannot be salvaged, get out. But if you think it can be, before trying to do so, asking your peers, or perhaps even these subreddits, if they agree. Often victims of abuse can't recognize the dangerous situation they're in. Additionally, they can help you analyze if it's even worth the attempt to salvage it. If you are able, I highly recommend seeing a therapist.

There are many success stories on each of these subreddits. In fact, I get downright emotional each time I see an ex-JW celebrating their birthday or a queer ex-Mormon living their authentic life. I found a lot of joy in the success stories on r/QAnonCausualties as well.

As for the macro implications of all of this division, I honestly don't know what those will be, and that's ok. Perhaps a bit scary, but it's ok. One thing is clear to me though, our world needs more kindness and understanding. I'm going to choose to be kind and navigate each situation as it arises. That's the best I can do.

egd

#mormonism #politics #altRight

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

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Dan Meyers / Unsplash
10 years ago, January of 2009, I was a rebellious Mormon teen and wanted proof of it. So I got a small tattoo of a triplet note on my ankle. It took the artist all of 7 minutes to do and cost me $50. I had to take a cash advance on my credit card to pay him, and even then, could only withdraw $40. At the time, I was a wannabe rock star who was sure I was going to move to Phoenix, become an audio engineer, then move to LA to network while working shows and eventually I'd make it big.

What I actually did was pack my white shirts and ties for Guatemala in August that same year to serve a Mormon mission. I spent the next 7 or so years convinced the triplet scar on my ankle was a mistake, a battle wound of apostasy from and incredulousness in the Gospel I loved.

I have since resigned my membership from the Church, but still hold on to my Mormon identity, preferring the label of “secular Mormon” as opposed to “ex-Mormon”. I cling to my heritage and the good parts of the culture that made me who I am today. I know much more about my Mormon ancestors now. I learned that I'm a direct descendent of Israel Barlow, making many people of the FLDS faith my distant cousins.

Growing up I was always told the stories of my Mormon forefathers leading their wives and children across the plains from Nauvoo to Salt Lake City. Augustus Dodge, my fourth-great grandfather, was a Captain in the Mormon Batallion and the Church is still in posession of his sword. My grandfather once told me that his rifle used to be in the family but was lost, which still pains me to know, as the timeless heirloom would likely be in my posession now.

But the stories I rarely heard were those of my foremothers. This is often the case. As the unattributed mantra goes, “the victor writes the history”, and time and time again in history, men have prevailed and written their version of history. However in my studies since abandonning my Mormon beliefs, I have found that the story of Mormon women is also fascinating and an important part of my heritage.

Utah women were the first in the country to exercise their right to vote. Martha Hughes Cannon, an Ivy League educated physician, ran against her polygamous husband, George Cannon, for a spot in the Utah State Senate and became the first woman in the country elected to a state-level office. Susan B. Anthony spoke numerous times to feminists in the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City.

My Mormon foremothers were badass. So this March, I entered a tattoo shop once again to pay tribute to this incredible part of my heritage.

Left: the tattoo after first session. Right: the tattoo after final session.

Left: the tattoo the end of the first session. Right: the tattoo at the end of the second session.
The tattoo features a pioneer woman, as indicated by her bandanna on her neck, allowing her hair to rebeliously fall, refusing to be kept. Her face displays confidence in herself and determination to improve her situation. She's flanked by sego lillies, the state flow of Utah, on either side resting above an emblem featuring a bee, surrounded by the Seal of Melchizedek.

This is for Elizabeth. This is for Martha. This is for Elizabeth Haven and her first daughter Pamela who crossed the plains in the hot summer of 1848 at the age of 4. This is for all my female ancestors who lived polygamous lifestyles because they believed it was what they needed to do. Some lived long stretches of time without their husbands to help raise their children. Others lived together as sister wives. Many enjoyed writing, and I adore reading their autobriographies. I imagine, like me, they found it therapeutic.

This is for Alice, for Elizabeth Hudson, for Martha Moore, Lorine, and Marian whose husband's were called to settle areas all over Deseret. This is for other women forgotten, such as Helen Mar Kimball, who was married to Joseph Smith at the age of 14 but never once mentioned by name in the Church's newest book recounting the early history of the Church.

These women will live on in the stories I tell my children about them. They will live on and not be forgotten.

egd

The tattoo was done by the incredibly talented and professional Tony Trophy. I highly recommend him.

#mormonism #tattoos

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

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Privacy P. Pratt is a pseudonym which I assumed in October of 2016 to mask my involvement with the non-profit, pro-transparency media organization called MormonLeaks.[^1] The name comes from Parley P. Pratt one of the early leaders of the Mormon Church. As Privacy P. Pratt, I have handled the technical operations of MormonLeaks, as well as participated in the executive and administrative operations. I am here to address my anonymity and why I have decided to reveal my involvement now.

This is me.

My reasons for initially staying anonymous.

  1. A person very close to me works for the Church.

    I don't want to expand on this point very much at all other than to say that I didn't want this person to be suspected of even the slightest participation in MormonLeaks. I can honestly say this person had no idea about my involvement with MormonLeaks until yesterday, September 24, 2017. This by far was the biggest reason for my anonymity and the following two reasons were only minor considerations compared to it.

  2. I was not sure of the effects it could potentially have on my career.

    I work in the high-in-demand industry of cyber security and absolutely love it. I am paid to protect sensitive, confidential, and private information and undergo extensive background checks before starting a new job. Initially, my suspicion was that it would not adversely affect my career because Mormonism is so small when compared to the rest of the United States, but I wanted to err on the side of caution on this one and consult trusted colleagues on the matter. After doing so, the overwhelming consensus is that it would have minimal impact on my career and in some cases would even bolster my resume. After all, despite being a digital forensics professional, I have learned quite a bit more in the practice due to the different perspective and niche MormonLeaks has placed me in.

  3. The potential adverse effects that it could have on my relationships with family and friends still active in the Church.

    I touched on this quite a bit almost a year ago here, but I'll summarize for the sake of consolidation. There is a phrase that is common among active Mormons that says “People can leave the Church, but they can't leave the Church alone.” I myself am guilty of having said it about my extended family members who had left the Church back when I was still active. The phrase implies that everyone who leaves the Church obsesses over finding every opportunity they can find to point out the Church's faults or shortcomings, which, if you spend 30 minutes on r/exmormon you will see is simply not true. It also implies that the opinions, statements, and actions of anyone that has left are hostile and malicious towards the Church. This is an unfair assumption that immediately puts all ex-Mormons at odds with their loved ones that remain in the Church, and is typical of the black and white worldview that most religions promote. Both of these assumptions are what make it so terrifying and nerve-racking to publicly admit to a loss of faith.

    In January 2017, an article entitled The Alarming Truth Behind Anti-Mormonism made its rounds through Mormondom and to date has over 77,000 shares. The article itself, and its circulation, are testaments to the incredibly vast misunderstanding that exists between active Mormons and ex-Mormons. In it the author implies through his rhetoric that all those who leave the Church are anti-Mormons, or at least go through a phase of anti-Mormonism. His analysis and understanding of the term ‘anti’ contains absolutely no nuance. I have had many conversations with my believing family and friends who make similar implications that all who leave are anti and they too typically fail to see the nuance.

    Most ex-Mormons have left the Church at least in part due to a feeling of betrayal when they realize that the version of Church history which they grew up learning — and in some cases taught to others on their missions — is whitewashed, altered, and misleading. The Mormon Church itself instills and promotes a desire to spread truth by sending tens of thousands of missionaries around the world to baptize as many people as they can and with mantras such as “every member a missionary”. Not to mention the fact that this desire is fairly natural of humans in general. So when the claim is made that Joseph Smith used the Urim and Thummim to translate the Book of Mormon and an ex-Mormon corrects it by saying Smith really put a stone that he found at the bottom of a well in a hat and claimed the words of the book appeared on the rock, it's not because they can't leave the Church alone. It's because the Church changed the narrative and they're simply setting the record straight. An active Mormon would do the same thing if what they knew to be true was inaccurately represented. The stone in a hat story, by the way, is a fact that even the Church has recognized is true.

    Admittedly, I am being quite a bit more proactive in my quest for truth than simply correctly faithful family members when they misrepresent historical facts. That is because I hold the controversial opinion that there is corruption and abuse that happens within the Mormon leadership. I am not looking to argue that opinion, but everything that I have seen in the past year as a part of MormonLeaks simply reconfirms that opinion. So imagine, if one is written off as nonsensical for simply correcting a false claim, the much larger effects that my participation in such an endeavor as MormonLeaks will undoubtedly have on my relationship with my believing friends and family. It is truly terrifying.

    I'm not anti-Mormon. I still love my friends and family who remain active in the Church. If they are happy, I truly think that they should stay. Leaving the Church was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I don't wish the pain that ensues on anyone. No, I'm not anti-Mormon. I'm for exposing corruption in an organization that tithes its poorest members while its leaders make higher-than-average salaries, rejects those that are different, degrades women, and influences its membership to censor their own thoughts. I am pro-transparency. I am pro-truth.

Myself and Ryan McKnight, founder of MormonLeaks, meeting in person for the first time on July 25, 2017 after working together for ten months.

My reasons for revealing my identity.

Since leaving the Church, I have continuously received therapy. I have learned a great deal about myself, my emotions, my psyche, and how my strict Mormon upbringing has influenced all three. My therapist has always encouraged me to be my whole self and to not censor any part of myself on account of anyone else. This has been a great struggle for me as I've constantly felt my whole life that I had to fit into a good-Mormon-boy mold and subsequently felt judged when I often didn't.

Growing up, music was incredibly important to me as I felt that it expressed emotions that I felt inside but could not express. It related with me on a level that nobody else could. As I intermittently struggled with depression, that music was often dark and hard. I often felt guilty when sharing the music with friends or expressing interest in the groups that wrote the music. It has been so liberating not worrying about this anymore and I want to feel that way about every aspect of my life.

I am strongly against censorship, and I think self-censorship is the worst variety. I believe that being true to yourself is the best and most important thing that anyone can do in their life. If you are not honest with yourself, you are destined to be unhappy. Today I am ending the self-censorship that I have put myself through for the past year and completely owning my actions, values, and beliefs. Today I can confidently say that the benefits of revealing my identity outweigh the costs. I am ready to have those hard conversations with friends and family and help each other down the road to empathy. I am proud of what I have been able to accomplish at MormonLeaks and I am ready to show it.

Additionally, I not only do this for myself but for the countless others who have censored themselves because of the accusations of not being able to “leave the Church alone.” This applies not to just ex-Mormons, but to anyone else who has lost their faith or stepped away from life-long beliefs. We should not have to live in fear of strained relationships, hostile accusations, and losing our loved ones for simply expressing our discontent and contrary opinions. We should be proud of our journey and feel free to express the feelings and ideas we have developed through it! We should contend that which we think is hurtful and share our stories. Only then will we reach a state of empathy between ourselves and our faithful loved ones. We are valid. We are real.

I'm Ethan Gregory Dodge, and I am Privacy P. Pratt.

egd

If you would like to know more about the entirety of my story, I have recently started a blog categories and podcast that tells my story of my Mormon upbringing and eventual exit. I will also be conducting an AMA on r/exmormon on Thursday September 28, 2017 from 5 pm – 8 pm PT.

[^1]: For those unfamiliar with MormonLeaks, our mission is to “[increase] transparency within the Mormon Church” which we believe will “[result] in fewer untruths, less corruption, and less abuse within Mormonism”. Our leaks have been featured in local publications like the Salt Lake Tribune and Deseret News and in national publications such as the Washington Post and the New York Times. But I'm not here to talk about MormonLeaks, its history, or my reasons for my involvement. I am here to address my anonymity for the past year and why I have decided to reveal my involvement now.

#privacyPPratt #mormonism

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

Enter your email to subscribe to updates.

In December 2016, I co-founded a website known as MormonLeaks. Initially, I was known anonymously under the pseudonym Privacy P. Pratt. These are blog posts I published under that name, until I revealed my identity in September 2017. To learn more about my involvement with MormonLeaks, view the interviews section of my portfolio.

I've already written a bit about how Ryan McKnight and myself came in contact, and how MormonLeaks, as it is known today, came to be. In this post, I hope to provide a little more context.

I knew in order to get credibility, MormonLeaks was going to have to set up their submission process correctly in a way they could guarantee the anonymity of their sources. I felt confident in my ability to do this, so I reached out to McKnight via Reddit with this message:

*Note: I have not edited any of the original typos in any of the messages in this post.

Dear FearlessFixxer,

I know this will be the first time you see my handle. I just recently made it in order to conceal my identity. I am going to great lengths to protect my privacy and maintain anonymity not because I'm scared, but because I still not sure I want my true name associated with the project I am about to propose. I realize you may think this is a bit overkill and that I may be paranoid and crazy. I may be paranoid, but I am not crazy. You may have seen the handle I regularly use in the sub. I don't post frequently, but I have had a few posts that were upvoted quite a bit.

I really admire the work you guys do here, especially the recent video leaks. However I believe that these may only be milk compared to some potential meatier leaks out there. I believe that there may be something that we can do together to empower leakers to come forward (especially those who work inside TSCC) with confidence that their anonymity will be protected and maintained. If we can accomplish this and embolden more from the community that really have dirt on the church, I think we can accomplish a great good.

I will say that I am not a current church employee. If you would like to hear more about my ideas please respond and we can establish a more secure way of communicating whether it be PGP, OTR, Telegram, or some other encrypted means. How would you rate your technical abilities? All three solutions that I just mentioned are easy to use once you do it once.

If you would like further verification that I am legitimate, I can provide it to you easily. Again, I know this may seem like overkill, but I still haven't made up my mind if I would like to be associated with my idea publicly.

If you do respond, expect a delayed response from me as I will not be able to respond until later due to the privacy measures I have taken. I can explain later. Securely yours, 3P

In reading through this message again, I honestly don't know what I was referring to when I said “If you would like further verification that I am legitimate, I can provide it to you easily.” I eventually did do this upon his request, but I was extremely hesitant. One day, I may feel comfortable going into detail about how I did this, but not today.

I chose the name Privacy P. Pratt after Parley P. Pratt, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the days of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. The man signed his letters with the signature of “3P”, which I obviously mimicked.

I figured McKnight had already been contacted by several other people like me, and honestly I'm not sure how I would have felt had he chosen to work with one of them rather than me. Hindsight is 20/20, but I imagine I would be fairly, but privately, upset yet glad he had other viable options. You can bet your ass I would have followed the project closely and scrutinized over their operations though.

McKnight was confused and thought I was someone with a leak. I'm not sure if something I said made him think that or if he just didn't read my message carefully. I think it is likely the latter as the hype from the videos he had recently released was still at its peak. Here is his response:

ok. please monitor this reddit account for a pm from me later tonight about the secure connection. It may come very late as I am extremely busy today. I will patiently wait your response to that message based on your privacy concerns.

also, when we connect outside of reddit, feel free to prove what you can, but I do not want to know who you are.

If you have something truly newsworthy I have the cell number of the key players at NYT and SLTrib

Cheers

Very cordial. I responded with this:

Perfect. Just to be clear, I have nothing to leak myself, only looking to collaborate on a project to make it easier for those that do have newsworthy info to leak it. It could be that others are already working on something like this. I just want to offer my expertise.

He must have not responded for a day or two because I then sent him another message:

Just seeing if there is still interest. I know that you are busy and that's fine. Again, I think we can easily facilitate leakers to come forward with more confidence and ease. 3P

To which he said:

When you said project in your first message, I thought you meant that you had something to leak.

Now I see that you want to help people facilitate.

There is nothing wrong with that, I hope you are able to help someone if you are approached.

Surely you can understand how I cannot work on the facilitation end of things with an anonymous person.

Cheers.

I found this to be a completely reasonable response. I mean, you are approached by a guy you have never heard of before using an obviously fake name offering help to facilitate the release of confidential documents.

I remember getting somewhat cold feet to the response. I saw that he had posted an interview he did on the Mormon Transitions podcast. I figured I would give it a listen to get a better idea if his motives really matched mine. I listened to it that same morning on my way to work and sent him this message later that night.

Yes, I can understand your reservations. However, I don't think it would be as difficult as you think. That being said, after reading and listening to several interviews from you, I have concluded that you are the type of person that I can likely trust in this situation and would be willing to reveal my identity to you. This would be done under an understanding that you would not reveal me to others unless I agree to it. I'm very sorry for the secrecy, but when we can communicate over a secure connection, I can tell you more and you will understand.

In your interview on Mormon Transitions, you said that you weren't a “hacker”. I am. You said that you don't know much about computers. I do. The way the leakers have recently approached you is dangerous. They are leaving behind dozens of virtual fingerprints that can be traced directly to them. And while it may not be inherently illegal, if what is being leaked is considered intellectual property by the church and they get someone in the government on their side, then yes the leaker can get in very big legal trouble.

I have already said more than what I'm comfortable revealing about myself over Reddit. If you are interested in protecting your sources taking very easy to steps to cover their tracks in the “cyber” contact me via Telegram (telegram.org), a secure, private messaging platform. You can download it onto your phone and I will get the message on mine. Don't worry, I won't be able to see your number and you won't be able to see mine.

I hope to hear from you.

Securely yours, 3P

For clarification, when I said I am a “hacker” I meant it in the traditional sense of exploring technologies and getting them to work for my benefit and not in the more modern sense of someone who breaches secured networks, which is illegal if done without permission. Yes, I have hacked secured networks, but never outside of a lab or professional setting without permission. To many, my claim of if “they get someone in the government on their side, then yes the leaker can get in very big legal trouble” may seem outlandish, and perhaps it is, but it is most definitely not outside the realm of possibility. My use of the word “cyber” was in reference to then candidate Donald Trump's obvious misunderstanding and apparent vageness of the word.

As I indicated in the last paragraph, I was saying more than I wanted to on Reddit. I wanted to speak in a more secure and encrypted channel before revealing more information. At this point, I still wasn't sure if I ever wanted to reveal my indentity to the public, or even if I would remain with the project in the long term. So I ended the conversation on Reddit and asked him to move it to Telegram. I figured if he was interested, he would message me there and if not, he wouldn't.

I received a message from McKnight via Telegram that same day and I admitedly was very excited. Unfortunately I do not have the transcript of our conversation there as we have since deleted it, but he immediately made it clear that he had been contacted by others like me and had not made a decision with whom to work with but that he was interested in hearing my proposal. I outline this part of the story in my previous post, but my intention was to build the solution myself. I'm still confident that I would have been able to do so, but then I was told about SecureDrop, but that's a story for another post. In my next post, I will go into depth about how the rest of our initial team came together.

#PrivacyPPratt #mormonism

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

Enter your email to subscribe to updates.

In December 2016, I co-founded a website known as MormonLeaks. Initially, I was known anonymously under the pseudonym Privacy P. Pratt. These are blog posts I published under that name, until I revealed my identity in September 2017. To learn more about my involvement with MormonLeaks, view the interviews section of my portfolio.

Last week, Mike Norton, also known as NewNameNoah, released a video of 12 year old Savannah speaking in front of her Mormon congregation claiming that God loves her even though she is a lesbian and that he “did not mess up” by making her that way. After expressing these beautiful sentiments, the microphone was turned off and she was asked to sit down by the leaders of the congregation sitting behind her. This powerful video was getting a lot of attention and was even highlighted on CNN. But shortly after its near viral fame, it was taken down from YouTube. Not a whole lot is known at this time as to why it was taken down. We at MormonLeaks suspected this was going to happen and we were ready days in advance. We contacted Mike to tell him that we would host it on our server in Switzerland with a hosting provider that completely ignores all take down requests. As soon as it was taken down, Mike contacted us and we were able to get the video on our server within a matter of minutes. I don't know when people will learn that the Streisand Effect is real.

I have heard a lot of criticism in regards to how Savannah approached the situation. There has been speculation about whether her parents put her up to it or if she decided to do it herself. Some have criticized her for leveraging the Mormon Fast and Testimony meeting to take a stand. And of course, some have said she is confused. But 100% of that criticism completely misses the point. Savannah's action were brave and much needed in the political, cultural, and civil environment that we live in today. In Utah, Savannah's home State, suicide is the number one killer of teens. Many of those killing themselves are from the LGBT community. Data shows that the more Mormons there are in a State, chances are that the youth suicide rate correlates with that percentage. But suicide is not the only delimma facing LGBT youth in the country, 20% – 40% of homeless youth around the country identify as LGBT. In Utah, that number is at least 50%. While I will always be one of the first to point out that correlation is not causation, in this situation, the evidence in pretty damning when during the year immediately following the infamous [November policy]() banning children of gay parents from being baptized until age 18, 32 Mormon LGBT youth committed suicide.

This is an incredible cultural and civil issue. What Savannah did is on the same plane as Rosa Parks and other Civil Rights Movement Era heroes. It deserves to be seen by the world. This needs to stop. A message is being sent to these children that they are not enough, that something is wrong with them, when they are truly beautiful. I do not know who got the video removed, but they do not understand the enormous problem. Not only was the effort completely in vain thank you to the Internet, but their actions are assisting to squash a just movement that the entire country needs to see. I, as a straight white male, am proud to call myself an LGBT ally and republishing Savannah's video is the act that I am most proud to have been a part of at MormonLeaks.

3P

#PrivacyPPratt #mormonism

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In December 2016, I co-founded a website known as MormonLeaks. Initially, I was known anonymously under the pseudonym Privacy P. Pratt. These are blog posts I published under that name, until I revealed my identity in September 2017. To learn more about my involvement with MormonLeaks, view the interviews section of my portfolio.

Recently an article entitled The Alarming Truth Behind Anti-Mormonism has made it's way around the bloggernacle. It's packed with jewel phrases such as “It is simply impossible to leave the Restored Gospel for another version of Christianity...” and “...most Atheists are unaware of where their belief system will lead society” (the author provides no data to support either claim). But I think the damage that is done by such an article be plainly seen in its title in the words “Anti-Mormonism”. It is this type of rhetoric that leads to strained, severed, and destroyed relationships between those who leave the church and their families. While it is true that not all Mormon families shun their loved ones who leave the church, it is no secret that it happens. Just spend a couple days on r/exmormon and you will see what I'm referring to. Or better yet I'll save you the trouble: examples can be found here, here, here, here, and if you really want to go down that rabbit hole, here. It is this rhetoric that has led to my anonymity around my involvement of MormonWikiLeaks, and I am not anti-Mormon.

Zelph on the Shelf published a great response which claims that the majority of ex-Mormons do stay silent because they're “too worried about how they’ll be treated by their friends and families to do anything but slip away quietly, hoping nothing dramatic will happen”. The author goes on to say that most Mormons “have been taught that ex-Mormons are so bad for so long that they simply cannot process the fact that someone they know and love actually is one.” This is disgraceful. But it is exactly what I am personally trying to avoid by protecting my identity. It is not because deep down I know that what I am doing is wrong or shameful; on the contrary, it is because I know that many hearts of people so dear to me will break to upon learning about my involvement in the project. It is likely that many will loose respect for my opinions, views, and even myself entirely. Many friends will probably stop talking to me. Rare will be the one who will try to understand my motives and the pain I've experienced that drives them. Nobody deserves to live in fear of such isolation.

I recently finished Deconverted by Seth Andrews. I related with his exit from Christianity not only because I have experienced many of the same feelings, but because he once found himself in a very similar situation. The founder of The Thinking Atheist, he too struggled with knowing when to be public about his creation. Several years past after the site's inception when he finally decided to do so. He got the reactions that he expected out of his faithful friends and family. But he also recieved tremendous appreciation from others going through their own loss of faith. A loss of faith ultimately leads to a loss of identity, and no one should have to experience that without the support of those they love the most. Like Andrews, I hope to reveal my identity one day. I do not know when that will be, but I do know that much has to happen first. I need to be able to say what Andrews says in the acknowledgement page of his book:

...I have no doubt that our bond as a family can cross all barriers. The differences between us can now be the brands of individuality that make life all the more interesting, and it's my hope that my entire family will celebrate the desire of each child and grandchild to find his or her own voice.

Once I can confidently say the same, I will feel comfortable revealing myself. Once we can all confidentaly say the same, the world will change.

3P

#PrivacyPPratt #mormonism

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

Enter your email to subscribe to updates.

In December 2016, I co-founded a website known as MormonLeaks. Initially, I was known anonymously under the pseudonym Privacy P. Pratt. These are blog posts I published under that name, until I revealed my identity in September 2017. To learn more about my involvement with MormonLeaks, view the interviews section of my portfolio.

The Back Story

I am not the master mind behind MormonWikiLeaks. In fact, the idea was very far from being original. When the “November Policy” was made public by means of a leak, thousands began resigning in realization that they weren't as privy to their religion's policies and decisions as they had thought. Many leaks followed. Most weren't incredibly noteworthy, but a few people began promoting themselves as a safe destination for leaked Mormon policy. In October 2016, Ryan McKnight made headlines when he released over a dozen videos of private meetings of top Mormon officials that were leaked to him by an inside source. The videos circulated and it became very obvious to many, including myself, that a more official medium and channel was necessary. Not to mention, the way in which the leaked material was being handled was not safe. In an interview on the Mormon Transitions podcast, McKnight states that the the tipper, while anonymous, contacted him and sent the videos via email. The whistleblower was already putting his or herself in great legal danger, and by not taking certain precautions, was risking their identity being revealed. It was about that time that I decided to contact to McKnight.

I, and many others, had a vision, admittedly inspired by WikiLeaks, of a website where a leaker could come and submit data specific to the Mormon Church without worry of ever being identified. I happen to have the professional background to facilitate such a site. My background coupled with my passion for privacy and the distast for the lack of transparency from the leaders of the Church, made it very apparent to me that I would like to be involved in such a project. I was fearful that others would beat me to the punch, so I contacted McKnight via Reddit. This was the first time I went by PrivacyPPratt. I was intentionally vague and did not want to reveal too much about myself yet. All I said was that I had the technical experience to build and deploy a platform to facilitate anonymous data leaks. At first he misread what I had wrote and thought I was coming to him with a leak. When that was clarified, a few days passed and I was getting anxious. I genuinely wanted to be part of the endeavor and was worried about someone else reaching out, so I messaged him again asking if he was interested in pursuing. He responded that he was skeptical about working with an anonymous person on such a large project. I informed him that I completely understood his hesitation and that if we could move the conversation to a more private and secure method of contact, I would reveal more details. I gave him information to reach me via Telegram. I remember thinking that I didn't need to check my Reddit messages anymore, if he wanted to proceed, he knew how. I can't remember if it was the same day or the day after, but I eventually recieved a message from McKnight informing me that other people had reached out to him and that he hadn't made his decision on who to work with. He wanted some way to vet me and my experience. That was achieved fairly quickly and under paranoid precaution on my part, I still didn't know what being associated to a project like this could potentially do to my career and I wanted to be very careful about revealing my indentity.

Over the course of a few days we continued to talk and he wanted to hear what I had in mind. We arranged to speak over the phone using Signal by Open Whisper Systems. It encrypts text messages and phone calls between two users both using the app. I would highly reccommend it if you want your conversations to stay private. I told him what I had in mind. A web application that didn't log the IP address of any visitor, that could be accessed via the Tor Network, and scrubbed any metadata and watermarks from any documents submitted. He liked all of that, was impressed with my background and told me he wanted to move forward. I, quite honestly, was thrilled. I told him I could get it done in about two months considering I'd be working on it on nights and weekends in my free time. He accepted the timeline and we began work.

Soon another individual was brought into the project as an advisor, Ryan H. I love to collaborate with others and learn from them, so I was eager to see what Ryan H would bring to the table. He brought plenty of experience and a very similar background to myself. We agreed on pretty much the whole approach. At the time, I embarrassingly didn't know about SecureDrop, the application that we ended up implementing, so I started writing my own application. I learned a lot in the process and was having a lot of fun working with both McKnight and Ryan H. However as time went on the project began to drop in my priority list. We hadn't set a hard deadline, so it was easy to let it slide. I was motivated by the thoughts of what could potentially come of the site, but life happens and other things take precdence in the moment. So I decided to propose a deadline of December 19, 2016, just over two weeks away at the time. McKnight loved the idea and we decided to do it. It was then that I learned about SecureDrop from a very friendly Redditor. Again, that is slightly embarassing for me to admit that I had never heard of it before, but I believe in transparency and embracing vulnerability. So thanks, u/quasar-3c273! When I initially looked over the product, I was immediately intrigued solely by the fact that the code is maintained by the Freedom of the Press Foundation, an organization that I believe does some incredible work. After looking over the documentation and the feature set, it was overwhelmingly obvious that we needed to leverage it. The rest of the team (by this point we had brought on a web designer who as asked to remain anonymous) agreed and I went to work right away to get it to work in our environment. We also wanted to tweak the code just a bit to make it so Tor is not a requirement for submitting documents. I spent the next week and a half pouring over the documentation and code for SecureDrop. In the week leading up to the 19th, I pulled close to 4 all nighters learning how to implement and deploy SecureDrop in time. One night I went to bed early and got 10 hours of sleep to make up for it. Some things I was able to get in place on time, and other things I wasn't, such as the implementation of HTTPS and Tor. Those features will likely still be implemented. I also plan on contributing to the development of SecureDrop over time. It is a truly incredible resource.

The night before the launch we had some technical difficulties that crept into the morning and delayed us for a few hours. That was the most stressed I have ever been in my life. But we pulled it off and the launch of the site had made headlines in the Washington Post and many newspapers in Utah. The Washington Post article made the front page of Reddit. That is by far one of the moments I am most proud of so far.

My Personal Motivations

I would be lying if I said I didn't have major respect for people like Edward Snowden, Daniel Ellsberg, and Chelsea Manning. Many are probably going to twist that statement into saying that I'm a wannabe fanboy. While I think the actions of all three individuals were heroic, I believe the comparison of their situation to ours is not a fair one. McKnight has been compared to Julian Assange by almost every news outlet that has run the story, an even worse comparison. We're not putting our mortal lives in danger or risking spending the rest of our lives in prison by exposing corrupt governments and the horrific things they do to their citizens, we are bringing transparency to an organization that has spent almost two centuries without it. To a religion asking for 10% of all their members' gross income when they do not need that money. They own one of the largest, if not the largest, cattle ranches in North America. They built a multi billion dollar shopping mall in downtown Salt Lake City. They pay for every one of their beautifully ornate temples outright before construction even begins. All of this while encouraging their members to pay tithing even if it means not putting food on the table, because only those who pay their tithing can enter those beautiful temples and participate in the rituals that are required to go to highest level or heaven.

Aside from the financial, they perform secret ordinances that are kept completely quiet from the general membership. Up until recently, it was blasphemous to suggest that Joseph Smith was a polygamist. Their temple rituals come straight from the Freemason rituals. The church has been so good at hiding it's origins, operations, finances, and history that when they publish unpopular truths themselves, true believing members still avoid reading them or even acknowleding their legitimacy. I haven't even begun to mention the pain that has been inflicted to gay Mormons and their families by fighting the “homosexual agenda”. People have given their whole lives to the church. I know senior couples that have served over half a dozen missions for the church, given 10% of their income their whole lives, they deserve to know what is going on behind closed doors. If people learn all these facts and still decide to stay in the church, great! My goal is not to get people to leave, but to get them the information necessary to make an informed decision.

Your religion has just as much control over your life as your government does. Orthodoxy is unconsciousness.

3P

#PrivacyPPratt #mormonism

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

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