blog.egd.io

politics

Edrece Stansberry / Unsplash
I originally wrote this in January, days after the attack on the Capitol. Only small edits have been made since my original draft.

Had you predicted in January 2017 exactly what would happen during Trump's first term in office, I surely wouldn't have believed you. To be fair, I'm generally skeptical of predictions, no matter who they come from. I'm convinced the only predictions to come true are overly broad. But I digress.

I voted for Gary Johnson. It's something that I don't necessarily regret. Living on the peninsula of the San Francisco Bay Area at the time, it surely didn't affect the outcome of the election. But I am slightly embarrassed about it. I'm not sure embarrassed is even the right word to describe it. With the world view I currently hold, I surely would have voted for Clinton and never would have even considered Johnson. But I don't think that's necessarily something to find embarrassing, just evidence that I've learned and changed accordingly, as one does in life.

One thing that I am embarrassed about is that I had Gary Johnson magnets on my car the week of the election. I'm surprised it didn't get egged or otherwise vandalized sitting for hours everyday that week on the north side of San Francisco's Potrero Hill in such a state. But then again, the thought of a Trump victory was still unfathomable at that point, at least in my social circles. But, be assured, despite the fact that I voted for a conservative in 2016, when Trump won, I was scared nearly shitless. The fact that many of my fellow American libertarians weren't was very telling to me.

The beginnings of my political transformation can be portrayed in two blog posts I wrote that year: An Open Letter to Senator Rand Paul and Libertarian No More. The latter was received with praise among my immediate groups of friends. I was even urged to join the Democratic Socialists of America. At the time, I was still uncomfortable with that idea because “socialism” was still the misunderstood monster under the bed that I wasn't supposed to talk about.

The day after the election, many of my co-workers at the small San Franciso startup did not come into work. At the time, I regret to say that I nearly found that laughable. I was in the thick of my faith transition. I grew up in one of the reddest states in the country. I had family members who voted for Trump, and surely they weren't terrible people, or at least would condemn the terrible actions many were predicting would happen. While I was scared of a Trump presidency, I think I just suspected four to eight years of comments condemning Kaepernick and other giants with no consequence. I did not understand the history of racism or the depth of the oppression in this country.

Co-workers held sessions to vent and express fears and frustrations. In these sessions, I was viewed as somewhat of a “conservative whisperer” because I said I could sympathize with those that voted for Trump, and I could. Though, I'm not sure that was the best thing in our situation. In effort to span the chasm of misunderstanding between liberals and conservatives which we viewed gave way to the rise of Trump, I was encouraged to share those conservative views. Absolutely no harm in that. However, I believe that such efforts soon were taken too far and led to an environment where the fallacy of “both sides” was present, at least in my head and in conversations I participated in.

I remember the topic of climate change coming up and someone expressing frustration in climate change deniers. I claimed that the majority of conservatives, or at least the reasonable ones I had interacted with, don't deny climate change but simply think that it's not as imminent as the left claims. This was entirely based in my own uneducated understanding of the topic. A co-worker rightly pointed out that it doesn't matter whether they don't believe it's happening or if they don't believe it's as imminent, the effect is the same. In this case, the insistence to see both sides has cost the population of the earth precious time.

In the case of the oppression of racism, the “both sides” argument has cost Black and Brown lives. In the case of the value and contribution of women, the “both sides” argument has cost the human population an immeasurable amount of innovation and progress. In the case of sexuality and gender, the “both sides” argument has led to the suicide of countless LGBTQ+ individuals. If a side denies the humanity, justice, and dignity of any community, it's not worth it. It's a burning pile of shit. Period.

Perhaps the greatest thing that I learned in the past four years that informs my current political views more than anything else is the seemingly unpopular mantra that “all politics are identity politics.” Even the frustrated refute of that statement is rooted in identity. Every policy written without the presence or approval of a certain demographic has a high likelihood of affecting that demographic in an unforeseen way, often negatively. White, straight, cisgendered, able males have grown so accustomed to all the rules being written by our demographic that we don't realize those rules are rooted in identity themselves. We deny any such possibility because without the privilege those rules uphold, we subconsciously fear our identity would crumble in fragility.

And so, to the privileged, equality feels like oppression. Similarly, the advancement of the privileged results in oppression of the under-privileged.

Putting cops in schools was viewed as a good idea to stop school shootings and other crime. All it has done is increase the number of non-white students arrested and even killed in their own school's hallways. The PATRIOT Act was passed to ramp up surveillance and protect us from another 9/11. All it has done is led to racial profiling, particularly in the Muslim community causing mass xenophobia and a literal Muslim travel ban. It has also led to mass deportation of undocumented immigrants in our country, the overwhelming majority of which have never committed violent acts within the US.[^1] Tough on crime bills have led to the US having the largest prison population in the world, the majority of which is Black. Many are innocent but cannot vote, furthering a disgusting history of the disenfranchisement of Black voters in our country.

This is precisely why representation matters. This is why everyone needs a say in policies. This is why those of us who have benefit from these terrible laws need to use that privilege to lift up and support those whom the same laws have kicked in the teeth. You may not think you're racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, ableist, or enabling white supremacy, but the policies you support and who you vote for say otherwise.

egd

[^1]: The Homeland Insecurity Podcast by RAICES does a wonderful job diving into this topic. I highly recommend it.

#politics

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Kristina Tripkovic / Unsplash
I've been aware of the QAnon movement probably only slightly more than the average American for the past couple of years. I have individuals close to me who may not identify with the movement or even know about the anonymous individual “Q” but are definitely influenced by and believe many, if not all, the conspiracy theories rooted in the movement. With the attacks on the Capitol building this past Wednesday, it became apparent which of those individuals believe the 2020 election was rigged and fradualent (it wasn't).

While not surprised, their support has caused me to revisit my relationship with them. That endeavor led me to the subreddit r/QAnonCasualties. The forum description speaks for itself:

Do you have a loved one who's been taken in by the QAnon conspiracy fantasy? Look here for emotional support and a place to vent.

As I read through the stories of people recounting an emotional — and sometimes traumatic — experience of their relationships ending due to the differences of opinion, I was struck at how similar they sounded to the stories that I would read on r/exmormon back when I initially started questioning — and eventually renouncing — my LDS beliefs. The tears, the heartache, the pain, and the destruction felt identical between the two populations.

To illustrate my point and show just how similar they are, I have taken several phrases from posts on r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, and r/exjw (a forum for those who have left the Jehovah's Witnesses), and redacted certain elements of them. I originally wanted to do this with whole posts, but that proved to be too difficult given all the context in posts. Let's see if you can tell which post is from which subreddit. No Googling!

  1. “Instead of facing it they decided to just stop talking to me.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  2. “Yesterday I literally just grabbed my stuff and left my parent's house, because I could not survive there anymore. It was like a black hole sucking away my motivation and personality. I was constantly either in a depressive, carefully controlled state of mind or bloodpressure spiking silent rage at the delusional [individuals] in my house.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  3. “How many of you are being shunned by family that follow you on social media? I have a family member that won’t speak to me, doesn’t watch my stories, reply to my messages but still follows me on social media. She texts my kid but won’t text me. It’s sad.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  4. “She burst into tears and said if this was what we would talk about she should just go. Our voices weren't raised. We were actually whispering because I was nursing my son, and he was asleep. We had a nice time before this. We made pudding. . .I know this is so mild compared to what some people deal with on here, but I feel like I'm losing the ability to talk to my mom.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  5. “Well... I tried to talk to him. I stayed calm. I explained my reasons. I showed him evidence of why I believe what I do. He told me he’s basically right because of feelings and that I’m going to be a horrible mother. . .”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  6. “As we have attempted to set boundaries, there have been multiple incidences where my parents have broken our boundaries. We've had many conversations and I've confronted them. We've been forgiving and have kept trying to make it work. Naturally, they were defensive and resistant to admit to breaking them. Sadly, things have gotten so bad we have had to cut my parents off completely from our lives. The relationship was too toxic. We have not had to cut off my siblings as they have respected our boundaries.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  7. “So I come home from work and my dad is [engaging in movement activities] like he does every night. All I did was point out [flaws in activities]. So my dad charges me and wants to fight and when I refuse he spits in my face.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  8. Trigger warning: suicide

    “My aunt who was ultra [believer in movement] shot herself earlier today, she left a note saying she was terrified [prediction or prophecy was going to happen] because [something else happened].”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  9. “It is odd how happy my husband and I are 99% of the time. Then he hits me with the snitching bitches report of what I have been posting and how dare I persecute witnesses. It's like what the hell? How do you go from madly in love to pissed off?”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  10. “He had a stroke a few days ago, was in the ICU. Wasn't allowed to visit due to covid-19. I found out from my wife because my mother can't even text me to say he's dying.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  11. “Wife thinks we should part ways because I don't believe any of this”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  12. “A couple days ago my sister sent a rambling group text to my whole family about how [a prediction or prophecy was going to come true] and for the love of everything please [watch or read this material] and be prepared. I told her in no uncertain terms that she was in a cult and needed help. The rest of my family ended up calling me closed-minded, aggressive, and mean, then told my sister that of course they’d [watch or read the material].”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  13. “The fact that I no longer believe in [belief] seems to have invalidated my opinions and ideas. . . with some family members, where before, I feel like my opinions mattered and I was trusted to be a reliable information source and siblings would turn to for advice. But... not believing in [belief] means my opinions, ideas, or even outright verifiable knowledge can no longer be trusted.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

  14. Trigger warning: domestic violence

    “He wound up leaving the room and for the remainder of the night we stayed in separate rooms. As I was pumping so I could go to bed, he began screaming at me. I couldn’t tell you what he said because I entirely blocked him out. I finished pumping, locked myself in our bedroom and got into bed. He barged in, broke the door handle, started to shove me while I was in bed, anticipating I would fight back but I played possum. Fighting wasn’t worth the risk of losing my baby boy. He was screaming at me to get the F out and other mean things. I remained in possum mode.”

    Is it r/QAnonCasualties, r/exmormon, or r/exjw. Answer found here.

How'd you do? More importantly, how'd you feel while reading these stories?

Personally, my heart broke as I read through dozens stories in all three subreddits in search of the ones above. A lot of it was triggering for me and caused me to feel the same pain I felt when I lost all my friends upon leaving the LDS Church. It also helped prepare me to possibly experience it again soon on a smaller scale.

I hope it was eye-opening yet helpful to you. I hope it illustrates just with how much conviction people believe the QAnon conspiracy theories. They are throwing away the relationships that are dearest to them because of something they believe that is ultimately false.

You may find yourself in a similar situation. I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in navigating these situations, but what I do know from experience is that you have to do what is best for you. It is not worth your physical, mental, psychological, or spiritual safety to be in any sort of abusive relationship. If you feel that the relationship cannot be salvaged, get out. But if you think it can be, before trying to do so, asking your peers, or perhaps even these subreddits, if they agree. Often victims of abuse can't recognize the dangerous situation they're in. Additionally, they can help you analyze if it's even worth the attempt to salvage it. If you are able, I highly recommend seeing a therapist.

There are many success stories on each of these subreddits. In fact, I get downright emotional each time I see an ex-JW celebrating their birthday or a queer ex-Mormon living their authentic life. I found a lot of joy in the success stories on r/QAnonCausualties as well.

As for the macro implications of all of this division, I honestly don't know what those will be, and that's ok. Perhaps a bit scary, but it's ok. One thing is clear to me though, our world needs more kindness and understanding. I'm going to choose to be kind and navigate each situation as it arises. That's the best I can do.

egd

#mormonism #politics #altRight

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Many of my friends, family, and colleagues, if asked, will report that I associate myself with the libertarian political philosophy. They'd probably feel comfortable saying that I support the likes of Ron Paul, Justin Amash, and Gary Johnson. What they probably don't know is that my Libertarian cred is even higher with my subscription to Reason magazine. But I have recently found myself slightly disaffected with the Libertarian party. Some of it is personal philosophy changes, some of it is recent events, and some of it is just misalignments that have always existed that I never saw. But they all add up to something much bigger than I can ignore.

I grew up Mormon and was raised to think of the world in very black and white terms. Almost two years ago, I decided to leave the Mormon Church and one of the greatest things I have gained in that long and painful process was the ability to think freely and with nuance. I was used to authority figures telling me what was right and what was not and aligning my philosophy and worldview with theirs. That said, I have always put very heavy emphasis on social issues even from a young age. I've almost always been pro-choice despite the region of the United States where I grew up. I have always been deeply disturbed by racism and blatant discrimination of any kind. And — as a former Mormon, I feel it my duty to specifically mention this one — I have always been pro LGBT rights. These and many others beliefs and opinions, despite them being mine, typically always made me feel uncomfortable because they typically did not align with those of the previously mentioned authority figures.

Enter Ron Paul and Libertarianism. As a young returned-Mormon-missionary, Dr. Paul's libertarian ideals and principles appealed greatly to me. Not only could I be a fiscal conservative, but I could also be a social liberal and still have a party and several major politicians to identify with. What's more, there was an underlying guideline that directed nearly all the group's political thinking. That principle basically was that the government guaranteed certain rights and they should stay out of everything else. This gave me the psychological comfort that I had grown up with in my religion of aligning myself with someone of higher authority. In many ways, Dr. Paul became my libertarian prophet and whenever I didn't hold a particularly strong opinion about a topic, I typically found his and argued for it. Rare was it for me to critically analyze the position and use it as a step to get to my own opinion.

As I slowly began to question my religious belief system, my entire life was was being turned upside down. Everything I previously thought I knew to be true was not. I went through of phase of extreme vulnerability and fear, not knowing what was real and what was fake. I was forced to reevaluate my entire worldview. I began to explore the possibility of developing my own opinion, venturing into the gray area, accepting the nuance, and viewing 17 different sides to an issue rather than just two. It was scary, but I have been able to find my own person, find the values that I really believe in, and use those to dictate my political ideology.

Being raised Mormon, I was brought up in an extremely sexist society and left the Church loaded with all sorts of disgusting, unconscious bias towards women. Working in the tech industry, I see the sexism and misogyny on a near daily basis. It now makes me cringe to hear a politician claim that if there really was a gender pay gap then companies would solely be hiring women. Ron Paul and other libertarians make that claim, all the time. I see the scientific data suggesting that our climate is changing rapidly. I see pesticides manufactured by billion dollar organizations causing autism that the EPA is fighting. Yet libertarianism wants to leave problems like that to the market and do away with the EPA. The market simply isn't going to work fast enough.

As of late, we have seen atrocities like the murder of Heather Heyer and other racial discrimination around the country. I take a look at the Libertarian party and I see a group that is dominantly white male whose ideologies of nationalism and self interest appeal to the alt-right. To borrow a quote from John Ganz at the Washington Post:

“It was the very bareness of the idea of self-interest and liberty as such that allowed Chris Cantwell, the weeping neo-Nazi made infamous in Vice’s coverage of Charlottesville... to make conceptual space for racism...”

American Libertarianism is a strange breed of Libertarianism anyhow. Compared to the rest of the world, it is a very much more “get off my lawn” and “leave me the hell alone” type of Libertarianism. I still align with many of them on many things, such as the importance of our First and Fourth Amendment rights. But I can no longer associate myself with the Libertarian Party, or any party, and that's ok. I have come to enjoy living in nuance.

#politics

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A couple of years back, I deleted my Facebook account. I first got it in 2006 before many of my friends and family ever did. I loved Facebook. But as time went on it slowly became more and more of a waste of time. If my feed did not show what someone was eating or a click bait title, it was an opinionated and scathing flame war of comments. As Facebook culture started to grow into what it is now, I would participate in all these activities and many times I was the immature, generalizing, and heated friend stuck in his preconceived notions that you always rolled your eyes at. It became obvious to me that these were not constructive conversations, neither for me or with whom I was engaging. I decided to withdraw myself from all political discussion on Facebook, despite my strong opinions. It was shortly after that I decided to delete my account, mainly out of concerns for my privacy and that of my family.

After recent events, I decided to recreate my Facebook identity soley based on the idea that it is the best way I can affect those in my immediate circles of influence and challenge opinions of others, and likewise have mine challenged. Much has happened between then and now: I moved to a different region of the US, I left the religion I believed in my whole life, and much more. These events, particularly the latter, have demonstrated to me the benefits of embracing vulnerability and challenging my own presumptions. It has also helped me to learn how to understand and approach those with opposing viewpoints. While I may not be the best at it, I try really hard to not be that immature, generalizing, and heated friend stuck in his preconceived notions and instead approach the conversation in a civil manner in which both parties can benefit from. So far, it's been a great experience and I've already had some of my views challenged.

However, even with Facebook, I feel the need for a more formal medium to express my thoughts. That is what this blog is for. With the results of the 2016 election, I, like many others, have felt the need to become more vocal and more active and stand up for what I believe is right. I am concerned about many things such as trade, foreign affairs, immigration, and of course racial, religious, and sexual intolerance. My fear and dislike of the surveillance state in the world continues. The response to peaceful protests and manifestations of free speech appalls me. I cannot silence myself any longer.

I don't know if this blog will get much readership, I'd be thrilled if it did. But I have a lot of ideas for it's future. I am even considering starting a podcast. Either way, I hope to assume a much more activist role through the coming years.

egd

#politics #justice

Thanks for reading! I don't ask for money, but if you liked it, I'd appreciate a follow via the RSS feed, on the fediverse—search “@[email protected]” on your federated app of choice such as Mastodon—or via email below!

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